The Show Must Go On
by ferentis
Summary: The truth about the final battle has been revealed, and Elissa Cousland must make a quick decision. One she knows will not please the others.
1. Chapter 1

_So my other fanfiction 'Live Like We're Dying' is still in the process of being written, do not worry I haven't neglected that. However, this idea has been lingering my mind for a while now, and seeing as I'm coming to te end of my second playthrough on DA (this time following the Cousland storyline), I decided to put this up. _

_Hoping to keep this short, roughly a few chapters long. A look on the what if so to speak. After writing all this, I'm kind of happy I choose the happier option for my characters. Anyway, on with the show._

_Major spoilers for end game, after landsmeet, Morrigan's 'deal', the archdemon - blah blah blah. Don't read if you don't like spoilers.  
_

* * *

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

_"In war, victory. _ _In peace, vigilance._ _In death, sacrifice."_  
- _**Grey Wardens' motto**_

"No Morrigan, the answer is no."

She stood there for what felt like a lifetime, both her and the witch exchanging a glance to one another. They both knew that this conversation would properly be the last one they would exchange, regardless of what happened in the future.

Morrigan sighed, a look of anger flashing across her face. But in that anger was a small ounce of sadness. Part of her, deep down, did not want to lose the only person she had ever been able to class as a friend.

"Foolish woman, I am giving you the perfect chance of a happy ending. Neither of you have to die, yet here you are rejecting my offer. I do not understand why that is?"

Elissa continued to stand her ground, and replied with one simple statement.

"It goes against all honour I have, Morrigan. The answer again, is no."

Morrigan stood up from where she was sitting on the bed, anger stinging her even more so then ever now.

"You would honestly sacrifice everything, _everything_ just for your high and mighty 'code of honour'? I've given you the perfect opportunity to live your fairy tale ending, to have every Grey Warden live without sacrifice, for you to keep that boon you care for so much – and he to keep the woman he loves. And yet you still deny my offer?"

She looked into Elissa's eyes again, and noticed the determination that stared straight back at her. It was at that point that she realised, nothing she could say would change the warriors mind. Her resolve had been set, the deal was denied.

"Foolish woman," Morrigan spat once again, turning on her heel to walk towards the door. "Remember this is the path you have chosen for yourself. You will not see me again."

Morrigan looked at the warriors back as she stared into the fireplace and sighed. This was not how she had thought the scenario would play out. She sighed, and stormed out of the woman's room.

Elissa's eyes didn't leave the fireplace. In her mind the thoughts of what had happened throughout the year passed through her mind. They'd got so far, all of them, and just when she was beginning to think there was a shed of light at the end of the tunnel – darkness blinded it once again.

A small tear escaped her eyes, going unnoticed to her, and not removing her from her train of thought. Curse her and her ideals of honour. They had become a part of her that she could not discard nor throw away, and because of that very reason – her perfect ending was snatched away from her own hands. Her one chance at happiness had been stolen from her. She cursed herself over and over again, cursing her decision and the fate of the Maker for leading things to this dead end. But at the same time – she thanked the Maker too. For if it wasn't for the same fate that doomed her now, she never would have met him, and she properly wouldn't even be alive now.

"You made the right decision, my lady."

Elissa didn't jump from the voice that came from her doorway. Instead, she felt another tear fall down her cheek. And here she thought her masquerade of strength could last the night. All it took was the voice of one of her closest friends to shake her once again.

"Zevran, you know very well there is no need to call me that, especially not now." She replied, wiping away the tears that fled down her cheeks as she turned to face him. The elf's face shocked her, as for the first time she could ever recall, it was filled with sadness. He stepped towards her slightly, but stopped halfway, as if not wanting to overstep an invisible boundary.

"Your duty would ... not ask you to proceed with such a dark deal. It would have been unfair to ask Alistair to partake in such actions."

Elissa nodded, sniffing slightly and continuing to wipe her eyes with the sleeve of her nightgown.

"You are right Zevran, but – was I really unfair? Should I have at least given him the option? I do not know any longer but – part of me knows that, no matter how much he would have disliked the idea, he would have still gone through with it."

Zevran walked over to her, and felt his heartbreaking for the woman whose life was crashing down before her. He put one arm around her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, but her tears only returned.

"Elissa, that is exactly why you had to stop him from going through such a thing. Maker knows he'd risk all of Ferelden for you, but at what expense would it cost? Morrigan being Morrigan – that _thing_ would only return in the near future as a dark shadow of the past".

Elissa thought for a moment. Zevran was right; this was exactly what she needed to do. Alistair and the others may hate her for it later, but for the greater good of Ferelden –a sacrifice needed to be made. Not some spawn of an old god, whether it is good or bad.

Zevran squeezed her shoulder slightly, and turned her to face him. Through her eyes he could see the determination back there, hidden behind all the sadness. The fiery expression of the warrior he remembered seeing whenever they were fighting darkspawn on the battlefield.

"You should go to him, now. It may be your last opportunity, and I'm sure he's pacing a hole into the floor waiting for you to see him."

Elissa laughed weakly at that last comment, and saw Zevran smile that cheeky smile of his again. She wiped her eyes one last time, removing the tears that lingered on her cheek.

"Your right. Thank you Zevran, for everything." She said, genuinely thankful that he was there to support her. She went to leave her room, when she suddenly turned, and looked at Zevran once again. "Don't tell the others, what you heard here tonight. Promise me that. I'll think of a reason for Morrigans disappearance. Just – tell them to meet in the hall tomorrow before we leave. I'll – talk to them there."

Zevran nodded his silent promise, and watched as Elissa left the room. He sighed, the sadness returning to him fully once again_. Ferelden will lose one hell of a woman tomorrow_, he thought to himself. Watching her walk off was heartbreaking for him. It was then that it dawned on him again, for what felt like the millionth time. That she would never be his. Not as long as duty and love ruled her heart.

She fumbled outside his door for a while, not knowing what to do. It was silly perhaps, the amount of times they'd been together, and how they'd finally got over their shyness for one another. But then again, these were not normal circumstances. She needed to be strong, especially for him.

Images pushed into her mind once again, of everything she would be losing after tomorrow. She shook her head, trying to forget those thoughts. _Just forget it all Elissa_ she told her mind. _Live for today, for it's all you can grasp. _

Not wanting to think about the thoughts that were taking over her mind, she grabbed the door handle – and walked into Alistair's room. All of her nervousness died when she saw him there, sitting on the bed and frowning about something, staring into an unknown space on the floor. She turned to close the door behind her, and when the door clicked shut he woke from his daze, noticing for the first time the girl that snuck into his room. He got up from the bed and walked over to her, whisking her into an embrace. Elissa could sense the worry that was going through his body as well as her own – and for one dark moment she was convinced he had overheard the conversation too. But what he said next reassured her that he was just concerned for tomorrow.

"I take it you couldn't sleep either then? I saw Morrigan go into your room and – well I wondered what she had to talk to you about."

They broke from their embrace, and looked into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Elissa put her hands on either side of his face.

"You couldn't sleep? What's wrong?" She asked him, wanting any distraction to change the topic away from Morrigan.

Alistair moved one his hands up to clasp her own, kissing the palm. He sighed, and pulled both hands away from his face.

"I- It hardly matters. I think it would be pretty mad for anyone to sleep tonight of all nights, giving the circumstances. But – that's not the point, your avoiding my question. What did Morrigan want to talk to you about?"

Her breath caught at the question. There was no way he could have known about the conversation. She sighed, placing a forced smile on her face – one that she knew Alistair could properly work out was fake.

"It was nothing, my love. Don't worry about it." She replied, removing her hands from his and putting her arms around his neck. She learned on his chest and stayed there, closing her eyes. All she needed was this moment, just this moment where everything was perfect in the world.

Alistair sighed once again, but gave up in pursuing the question. Instead, he pulled her in for another embrace. He kissed the crown of her head, and pulled her closer to him.

"We'll find some way to pull through tomorrow, you and I. I promise. We've made it this far together."

Elissa didn't say anything in response. She just clung closer to him, and prayed that the silent tears she was fighting back wouldn't fall.

* * *

_For some reason ... writing Alistair and Elissa's scene just reminded me of Anakin and Padme's relationship in the third starwars movie ...  
_

_Feel free to review if you like._


	2. Chapter 2

_And because I'm such (an evil witch) kind person, here's chapter two of this little fic. Hot straight off of MS Word._

_Again, spoilers - but if your reading this chapter then you should know by know what the spoilers entale. I don't own Dragon Age, though I wish I could own it. And I don't own the characters, although there are a few I wouldn't mind owning. _

_Anyway - read on._

* * *

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

0:2

_"Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance.  
Another heartache - another failed romance.__"_  
-

It was the early hours of the morning, just a few hours before everyone would be up to march to Denerim. Elissa walked into the hall and was greeted by the rest of her group. She had agreed to leave Alistair in bed, but it had proved harder to escape from him without his knowing then she had originally intended. Still, she managed to make it to the hall in the end.

It was Leliana who walked towards her when she entered the room, worry etched on her brow as she looked at her friend.

"Elissa, what's wrong? Why did you tell Zevran that we should all meet here at this early hour?"

Elissa looked around at everyone. Her comrades, friends. They'd all been through so much together, that she knew it would pain them to hear this. But at the same time, she knew they would accept her wishes.

She walked to the middle of the room, and sighed. She turned back to Leliana, worry still laced upon on her face. It was then that she decided to talk.

"I – need a favour. A very big favour, and one that you all properly won't like at all. But, it has to happen".

The group walked in closer, worried and anxious at what she was about to ask. They only knew it involved Alistair – what with him not being in the room with them. But what it was? They couldn't find the answer in their minds just yet.

Elissa swallowed her anxious feelings, and put on her mask of strength once again. She then noticed Zevran in the shadows out of the corner of her eye; the only one in the room who knew the truth as to why they were grouped like this.

"Last night – Alistair and I – found out why it is a Grey Warden and _only_ a Grey Warden that can slay the archdemon,' she paused, and saw everyone's curiosity grow. "To cut the story relatively short, the Grey Warden that delivers the finishing blow to the archdemon becomes a sacrifice. They're soul dies, along with the demon, and in effect – so does the Warden themselves."

Silence echoed the room as the reality of the matter sunk into everyone's minds. Alistair or Elissa had to die that day. It was then that the missing jigsaw peace was put into place.

"Why do I get the horrible, nerving feeling in my gut I know what you're going to ask of us?"

It was Oghren's voice that spoke first, breaking the silence. Everyone looked at him, then back to Elissa again, once confused faces now replaced with worry.

"Do you honestly expect me to do nothing? He's going to become King and – for that, he shouldn't sacrifice himself-"

"And what about you?" Came Leliana's distressed cry. "You're to be his Queen after all this; don't you think Ferleden will need you, that Alistair will? He's not going to be exactly happy when he learns of your plan –"She cut off, letting out a small gasp as the reality of everything set in. _Alistair wasn't there._ "Y-You had no intention of telling him – do you?"

Elissa looked away from the stares of the group. As strong as she was pretending to be, this was all too much for her. She knew the group wouldn't be overly thrilled about the idea – heck, she wouldn't either if their roles were reversed and it was one of _them_ telling her they were to basically kill themselves.

"What of the other Grey Warden? The one we found in the Arl's estate – Riordan was it?" Oghren spoke up again. "Wouldn't he be a good candidate for this? I mean, the brute hasn't exactly done _much_ since you freed him from that prison cell."

"Riordan has already agreed to being the one to slay the archdemon," Elissa replied. "It's just – we need to be prepared. In the event that Riordan fails that task for whatever reason, and someone else has to be sacrificed – I will be the one to do it".

Silence fell around the room. The group knew there was no swaying her opinion once it already stood. All they could do was hope that the time never came for her to fulfil this task. That Riordan wouldn't fail.

"Alistair being Alistair, he will not easily leave you alone on the battlefield, _especially _given the circumstances. If he has the chance, he will follow and protect you like some sort of lost puppy," Zevran spoke from the shadows he was still standing in. The mabari hound whined at that comment, as if wondering why Alistair had to be compared to a dog.

Elissa smiled sadly. She knew this would be said, and she had been prepared for that very statement.

"I know, and that's where I need your help. If, for whatever reason Riordan fails and is unable to slay the archdemon, I will be the one to slay it instead. However, I need your help stopping Alistair from following me in that scenario. Maker knows he'd feel guilty if he was there, he'd properly even try to sacrifice himself, and there's no way I can allow that. I need you to distract him – somehow. In any way possible, just long enough for me to reach the archdemon before he does. Please..." she was begging now. Elissa knew she would do anything to protect him from this fate, even if it meant she would have to beg for her friend's forgiveness, for _his_ forgiveness in the afterlife.

The group exchanged glances with each other, contemplating the options that were available to them. Noticing there were very few, they came to a joined decision.

"Fine. In the event that Riordan's plan _does_ fail, and he _does_ die before he gets a chance to slay the archdemon. But only in that event; we will help you." Leliana said, hurt laced within her voice. It was evident that it was hard for the girl to imagine her best friend leaving the world, but that was just how things worked sometimes.

"We've followed your lead up till now Warden; we're not going to leave your side now." Oghren replied. It was shocking for Elissa to hear him speak in such a way, considering she expected him half drunk at this time of the morning.

She looked at all their faces, and smiled slightly.

"Thank you, all of you. I know this isn't easy for you – but – thank you".

"Perhaps, we should prepare for battle now? It'll soon be time to leave for Denerim after all." Zevran pointed out.

The group agreed and dispersed into different directions, going to their rooms to gather their weapons and armour. Elissa stayed for a while, watching her friends leave, silently praying that today she wouldn't have to cause them so much pain.

It was then that she realised she wasn't alone in the room. Turning around, Elissa noted that Wynne was still there, having not left when the others had. She had been very quite during the previous discussion, which was unlike her. Usually, Wynne made her opinion on matters known. Had it not been her that warned Elissa to prepare for heartbreak in her relationship with Alistair, and then later apologized, and gave the two of them her blessing?

"Wynne, what's wrong? Is there something you want to talk about?" Elissa asked, concern written on her face.

Wynne looked at the girl who was so much younger then she was, a sad look on her face.

"You haven't told him, have you?"

Startled, Elissa blinked, wondering what she was on about.

"I don't mean about your idea; I mean about your _secret_." Wynne answered. Elissa wondered for a second, and then gasped. Could it possibly be?

"But how could you – I haven't told anyone-"

"Of course you haven't ; but I can sense it, little one," the old mage smiled sadly, and Elissa could have sworn she saw a hint of tear in her eye. "He would have wanted to know, that much I can be sure of."

Elissa crossed her arms and looked away defensively, pain written on her face.

"It would be - unfair to tell him. Perhaps, if things were different – if something good happens and the archdemon is slain, and I'm still here – but, other than that he can never know." Elissa looked back to Wynne, feeling a tear slide down her own face yet again. "I'm not exactly full of options or cards to play to my advantage now, am I?"

Wynne shook her head sadly, understanding the pain Elissa must have been hiding back.

"No child, you don't. It is – unfair on you to say the least. And to think, I was so convinced that perhaps maybe, you both would have finally found happiness".

Elissa returned Wynne's smile with her own, etched in the same amount of sadness, but along with it – an essence of defeat lingered there too.

"I guess; I was just never meant to have that happiness," she sighed, and then looked sharply at Wynne. "You however, will not mention this to anyone. You hear? Not even Alistair. If he even knew what I was giving up –"her voice broke then as the horror of what she really was giving up hit her again.

Wynne could only feel her own heart breaking at the girl's loss. Elissa didn't deserve this, not after everything she'd done for so many people. All Wynne felt she could do, was respect her wishes, no matter how much she disagreed with her idea.

"Alright, I will keep it to myself as I have done up till now".

Elissa sniffed, and felt more tears falling down her eyes. All she could do was nod, she didn't want to look Wynne in the eyes, no, she _couldn't_.

"Thank you," she whispered, and allowed the rest of her tears to fall.

* * *

_Elissa's secret - I wonder what that could be? :O_

_Chapter 3 will up soon, so stay tuned for that. Feel free to review if you like. _


	3. Chapter 3

_Humph, last chapter left me at a crossroads as the plot bunnies develop, too many options to take with this story right now. _

_Right now, this chapter will show the light of which direction the story might be going. And, it seems as if my original 4 chapter fic idea is scrapped now, as this is properly going to be longer than that. I guess it will end up as long as it needs to be now. _

* * *

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

0:3

_"Torn between the lover; and the love you leave behind.  
You're headed for disaster, because you never read the signs.  
Too much love will kill you.  
Every time."_  
-

The battleground was significantly different from what they had been prepared for, or had been used to. The remains of the bodies around them- both darkspawn and others alike - were mortifying, the numbers of the fallen being significantly larger than the amount that had lost their life's at Ostagar. Elissa swallowed. So this is what a real war looked like?

The group were already covered in blood, having had to fight their way to reach the gate. They were already worn out, but everyone knew they had much farther to go. The archdemon had appeared at the top of the tower, and it was a long journey to get there. And having to check their backs every few seconds to fend from oncoming darkspawn was not helping the situation.

Elissa thought to herself quickly. They couldn't go on like this. If they did, they'd never reach the archdemon in time – and instead would use all their energy on fending off the small fry. Acting in a flurry, she signalled to a group of elves. They noticed, and one walked over to her whilst the others continued to fight.

"What is it you order M'lady?" Came the elves question.

"We can't carry on like this. I need a small fraction of your men to follow me to the tower," she ordered. "And quickly!"

"By your command," and he ran off to inform the group.

Elissa looked around her frantically once again, looking for her friends. As if right on cue she noticed Wynne, Oghren and Shale all take down an Ogre, and decided to run to them.

"I need your help reaching the tower," she hurriedly ordered. Seeing the group of elves hurry to reach the group, she nodded. "I trust you'll follow me?"

"Heh, it would be an honour to follow you into battle, Warden. I've been waiting to show that archdemon what for a long time now." Oghren spoke.

Elissa nodded, the elves had reached their small group by then, waiting to follow orders and be led into the tower. She stole one last glance at Alistair – currently involved in battle with Zevran nearby. Elissa silently said sorry a thousand times over in her mind, knowing that she properly wouldn't see him again – let alone have the chance to talk to him again. She then looked around her small group, pushed back her sad emotions, and nodded.

"Right, let's get going." She said, ignoring Wynne trying to hide the sadness in her own eyes.

They began to run, not wanting to waste any time. On their way they passed Leliana shooting down the darkspawn that were resided in taking the high ground with her bow and arrow, and Sten was not far away fighting a group himself. Fighting off the straggling darkspawn around them on the way, the group rushed to the tower door.

They reached the door, and Shale closed it after everyone. The hall was silent, but that didn't stop Elissa from remaining on her toes. She grabbed a hold of her sword tightly, her knuckles going white in anticipation, and began to walk forward slowly.

"Careful, I have a feeling the darkspawn are running amok in here as well," she called back to others when she heard they had begun following her to. "Keep your eyes open for any sudden movements."

Elissa momentarily reminded herself that the lessons in stealth she had been taught when back in Highever we're finally being put to good use, after so many years. Not that back then she would have ever thought she would end up in such a situation such as the one she was about the face now.

It was then, they began their long descend upwards to the final battle, tackling various darkspawn along the way.

* * *

They finished killing the horde of darkspawn that had plagued the area, and had a few moments to regain stamina before the next wave would appear. This was madness, the archdemon needed to be destroyed, and soon, before the armies were too few in number.

Zevran began cleaning some of the blood of his blade, getting ready for it to only be dirtied again by the next onslaught. Leliana and Sten joined up with them, ready to discuss what would happen next. Alistair on the other hand, had other matters on his racing mind. He could have sworn that Elissa was there with them only a short moment ago, but now she was nowhere to be seen. Worry began to creep over him as his mind raced to the worst case scenarios. What if something had happened? What if a darkspawn had got her when they hadn't noticed? What if he'd failed in protecting her?

"Where are the others?" Came Stens monotone voice. Alistair looked back to the group, and that was when he noticed it. They were missing Wynne, Oghren and Shale along with Elissa. But, they couldn't have all disappeared could they? It was then that everything began to sink in. She wouldn't. Or at least, he prayed she wouldn't.

He turned to Zevran, a look of worry and anger written on his face.

"Zevran, where are they? No, where is _she_?" He commanded, thunder resonating in his voice.

Zevran merely looked at him and blinked in astonishment, clearly trying to play his innocent role well.

"How am I meant to know Alistair? I know as much as you, who knows where they all decided to run off too!"

"You must have seen them or – something. Any of you," he turned to Leliana and Sten aswell. "Someone must have seen them; they can't have just – disappeared!"

Sten maintained his cool expression whilst Zevran tried to hold his innocent mask. Maker Elissa would kill him herself if he failed now in his deception. Leliana on the other hand, was battling with her own emotions and loosing. Badly. Tears were beginning to flow down her face.

"I'm sorry Alistair – I'm – I'm so sorry," She stammered, trying to talk through her tears.

Alistair's stare turned to Leliana. He decided he did not like Leliana's terrified expression one bit, his mind racing through his nightmares once again.

"Leliana if you know anything, please – tell me." He said, trying hard to maintain his anger and worry.

Leliana sniffed. The joke was up, the cards had been played. There was no turning back.

"I'm sorry Alistair I- none of us liked the idea. But – she was so insistent and- well, once Elissa get's an idea stuck in her head-"

Alistair felt his breath get caught in his throat just by hearing her name. Panic began to strike him now, along with the rest of his tangled mess of emotions. He grabbed Leliana by the shoulders, and shook her lightly, as if they would reveal all the answers that we're being hidden from him.

"Leliana. What's happened? Where is she? Where's Elissa??"

Leliana's tears fell ever harder. Zevran sighed, giving up his innocent masquerade. Instead, he decided to speak on Leliana's behalf, sadness evident in his voice.

"She's on her way to the tower. With the others. She – wanted to do it herself."

"We knew Alistair, and we're so sorry. But she didn't want you to know, she wanted to protect you."

Alistair let go of the young Bard's shoulders then as if she were boiling. He felt his blood run cold. It was as if time had stood still in that moment as he processed what the two were trying to tell him. Elissa had gone to fight the archdemon alone, or without him at least. She was going to sacrifice herself. And she'd planned this without his knowledge, without even telling him. He'd be damned if he was going to let that happen.

Picking up his sword from the ground, Alistair automatically ran in the direction of the tower. Perhaps if he ran now he'd make it in time. They couldn't have got far ahead, could they? And if the tower was swarming with the darkspawn like the rest of the place was – which was likely – they could still be battling their way through it.

He could hear Zevran and Leliana calling his name from behind, but he didn't look back. He wasn't about to waste precious time, every second counted. He didn't look back either when he heard Sten suggest they follow him. Let them if they wanted. To him, the world didn't matter right now. The only thing that did matter; was saving a life.

* * *

_And so the beginning of the end is beginning to unravel ~_

_Feel free to leave a review if you like, I might get Sten to give you a bag of cookies :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_This chapter may seem a bit random; and – heck I suppose it is, seeing as it could be a standalone one shot. However, I felt the flashback would fit in well (plus, I think we needed a small break from the angst). So, without further ado – here it is._

_

* * *

  
_

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

0:4

"_Staying back in your memory; are the movies in the past.  
How you moved is all it takes, to sing a song of when I loved,  
the prettiest star"_  
-

{FLASHBACK}

_Elissa sat by a log near the campfire. She was meant to be keeping look out for the night, but the night air was cold, and her armour wasn't exactly the thickest out of everyone's out of the group. In fact, it wasn't that thick at all, but surprisingly it did its job well. Still, she wasn't particularly worried. No darkspawn or other threats had appeared at camp that night, so part of her believed that it was safe to assume that it would just be a normal night for them. Well, a normal night on the road before they left to meet Arl Eamon the next morning._

_Elissa kept playing the thought of the landsmeet in her head over and over again. There was still much to prepare for, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. Her mind continuously replayed various scenarios as to what could happen, some more comforting than others. At times, the thoughts would give her a headache, and she just wished she could just switch her brain off._

_She pulled her knees towards her as she starred into the flames of the fire. There was really little control she had over everything, if she was honest to herself. Sure, Elissa could use her skills to persuade, but the final decision was still up to a certain persons own views on the matter. And right now, Elissa didn't have a clue what was running through Alistair's mind. Originally, the man was dead set on not being king, finding any excuse to try and weasel his way out of the very thought of having to lead people. But lately, she couldn't help but think that he'd grown more ... mature. Well, it certainly seemed that way at least at times – although sometimes he could still be a complete idiot. Either way, she was convinced that Alistair was probably considering the idea of being a king at the very least, even if he still didn't like it that much. If he did become king, Ferleden would be a much better place, of that much Elissa could guarantee would be true. Still, one thing continued to nag at the back of her mind. __If, by some chance, Alistair did become king, well, she wasn't sure where that would leave __them._

_She sighed, slightly disappointed in herself. Elissa knew duty came first for the both of them but – her heart still told her that she didn't want to think of what life would be like without Alistair beside her. She'd grown ... used to him being there._

_It was then that she felt something drape over her shoulders, and noticed that it was in fact a blanket. Knowing who had put it there, she pulled it closer to her._

_"You know, when you keep lookout its best if you don't __freeze to death," came Alistair's voice as he sat down next to her._

_Elissa rolled her eyes in mock playfulness._

_"It's not like I intend to freeze, I just can't help being immune to the cold."_

_"Well that's because of the armour you wear, or should I say lack of."_

_"My armour doesn't 'lack' in anything, it does exactly what its job is intended for."_

_"While at the same time making you freeze. Brilliant. Never a better use for armour."_

_Elissa giggled at how stupid the two of them were being. She knew Alistair wasn't really mad at her, even if he pretended he was. Well, he might still have liked her to wear what he would have called 'better armour', but – that wasn't the case._

_"What are you up for anyway? You don't have to keep look out tonight," Elissa asked after her giggling subsided. Alistair just shrugged, merely pulling her into a hug like._

_"Couldn't sleep."_

_Elissa sighed. Yes, she definitely could relate to that feeling. Ever since the last attack on the camp, her own sleeping patterns had been less than what she herself would consider normal. She knew the two of them took it as a sign that the archdemon was approaching soon, and decided she didn't like to think of the idea much. As much as she wanted to see the archdemon dead, she wasn't entirely enthusiastic about fighting it. Not if it was anything to go by what she saw in her dreams at least._

_Alistair was the first to break their embrace, instead pulling her into his lap so he could play with her hair. She obliged, thankful for this rare moment that the two of them had just to share with one another. She looked up at the sky, and noticed that it was sparkling with stars that night. Over the months, she'd grown to love camping outside like this. It was, relaxing, and allowed her to appreciate how beautiful nature really was._

_"I don't think I've ever seen the stars sparkle so brightly at night," Elissa said after a few moments of silence. Alistair, still putting plaits in her hair, looked up to the sky and smiled._

_"Did I ever tell you a story about the stars, well – one star to be exact?"_

_Elissa frowned. A story about stars? Now this she hadn't heard before, which was odd seeing as Alistair usually liked nothing more than the chat endlessly about nothing a lot of the time._

_"No, I don't think so." She replied._

_This only made Alistair smile more. Of course he'd never told her; but either way it was a story she knew all too well._

_"Well, there was once this man – a very handsome one at that. Oh! And he had great hair," Alistair began. "He didn't have the best start to his life, having been brought up by dogs as a child and such. The man was however, very happy when his life changed, and he was saved from his nightmarish childhood."_

_Elissa smiled herself. She knew exactly what this story was about now._

_"And what happened to him?"_

_"He joined a group of warriors, a great group they were. His mentor was like a father to him. But then one day, his mentor came back with a new recruit. The man met them, knowing very well to expect a new brother to the group. However, what a shock did he have when they arrived and he found that she was a woman! __How odd!, he thought at first. You see, woman were a rare thing to find in such a group. Anyway, events happened and – before he knew it the man was alone. Save for the woman warrior. Everyone else they knew was gone-"_

_He paused, obviously trying hard to suppress his feelings at the memory. Elissa spoke, trying to get him past the sensitive subject._

_"But what happened? The two were alone yes, but that's not where the story ends, is it?"_

_Alistair shook his head at the sound of her voice, pushing the memory aside._

_"Your right, the story was only just beginning. Now, the two warriors travelled the lands on a mission that they had been assigned before they were left alone. Although, they weren't alone for long, as soon they had an ugly witch join them-"_

_Elissa giggled as he described Morrigan, the poison evident in his voice at just mentioning her._

_"- but then, before they knew it, they had a whole group of people join them. Apparently, they were very popular people, these warriors. However, something happened on their travels, and before he knew it, the man was beginning to care for his fellow warrior, a lot. First it was just out guidance, looking to her as a role model for the whole group to follow, but soon – it became more than that. Before he even knew it himself, the man was slowly but surely falling in love with her."_

_"What a stupid man," Elissa commenting, a smile hidden in her voice._

_"Quite. But it wasn't long after he discovered his own feelings that he thought that maybe; possibly, there was some way that the girl – now a shining star to him – could perhaps, love him back."_

_"And what did he find?"_

_Alistair fell silent for a minute, letting his hands fall from her hair. He turned Elissa round to face him, until both their eyes met each other. Elissa felt a blush rise in her cheeks slightly, but decided to ignore it._

_"He found you"._

_Alistair cupped her face in his hands, smiling at her lovingly._

_"And I can honestly say, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Like, ever."_

_Elissa put her hand on top of his, smiling back at him._

_"I feel the same way."_

_"Whoever would have thought, that a bastard child like me, would end up falling for the prettiest star in all of Ferleden."_

_He bent down to kiss her, wanting nothing but to remember this perfect moment forever. Neither of them had any idea what the future would hold for them, but they knew that none of that mattered to them now. The only thing that mattered was the here, and now._

_They broke apart from the kiss, and Alistair leant his forehead against Elissa's._

_"I don't care what happens in the future; the landsmeet, the blight – none of it. As long as you're with me through it all, that's all that matters."_

_Elissa felt tears welling up in her eyes, and brought him into an embrace._

_"I'm never letting you go Elissa, never. Whatever the future holds, we'll face it together. And that's a promise."_

_Elissa just smiled to herself in contentment, silently agreeing in her mind. As long as he was there, she could get through anything. They both could._

* * *

_Chapter 5 will be up sometime soon, returning back to the present timeline - and to reveal what happens against the archdemon._

_Oh! And yes, readers of my other fic 'Live Like We're Dying' : chapter 2 will be up soon too, it is in the midst of being written x]_

_Don't forget, review if you like the story :) (stops her shameless advertising).  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_And now – we shall find out what happens in the final face off with the archdemon. This chapter was, well - difficult to write would be the understatment. Especially since, I had two different directions I wanted to go for in the ending. _

_I guess, this is the final version? Some of you may like this - some may not but, I guess, you should just read on and see :)  
_

* * *

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

0:5

"_White queen how my heart did ache.  
And dry my lips no word would make.  
So, still I wait."_  
-

Elissa and her group looked ahead of them, the doors to the rooftop only meters away. They had fought their way through the darkspawn hordes, manoeuvring through the layers of dead bodies who had tried to defend the path for them and only ended up losing their lives in the process.

But this was it. Behind the doors and at what would be in front of them stood the archdemon, the very thing the whole journey was based upon. Now would be the end, for one of them at least.

Elissa stepped forward, and walked up to the door, tracing the lines of the wood. In all honesty she was scared, no, _terrified_ at what she would face when the doors opened. Nothing could ever prepare a person for their final stand, not even a Grey Warden such as herself. She mustered up her strength, pushing all fears aside as much as she could. Then, she pushed the door open forcefully, and she walked out onto the rooftop, the group following closely behind.

Bodies lay on the ground beneath them, soldiers and warriors alike who had fought just to hold the archdemon in this one area. But that wasn't what caused Wynne to gasp. Right in front of them, standing menacingly was the archdemon itself. Elissa gripped tighter onto her sword, trying to channel all feelings of fear into that of strength. She wanted nothing better but to turn and run away right there, run far away to place that it wouldn't her, a place where she could be happy. But she knew, as long as the archdemon even existed in this world; that could never happen. Instead, she put the masquerade of a brave face on, and pointed her sword up to the sky. Taking a deep breath, she then screamed a war-like cry.

"_Attack!_"

At the sound of her command, those around her quickly spun into action. Wynne began summoning spells in an attempt to halt the creature's movement, even if only for a little while. The elves that she had brought with her took their ground, and began firing arrows in an attempt to weaken the demon in any way. Shale ran headlong into battle, aiming to damage the back legs and falte its movements also, Oghren following shortly after.

The size of the demon itself was enough to show that it would not be defeated easily by such tactics though. Still, it was the one plan they had, so Elissa decided to throw herself into battle also. However, it didn't take long to realise that not much was happening in terms of weakening the creature. The archdemon cried out in rage, obviously angry at the attempt of the attack upon it. In response, it soon began to fight back, throwing those attacking it back time and time again.

Elissa found herself met with a wall for the third time around. She'd managed to cut a wound into the archdemon slightly, but it was still not enough to weaken it in any way. Wiping the blood away from her mouth, she pulled herself up. She soon felt Wynne use a healing spell on her, and instantly felt a portion of her strength return. At this, Elissa acted frantically, looking around her for anything she could use to help weaken the demon. Another weapon, a giant boulder that Shale could throw, anything. Desperation was beginning to set into her mind, and it was then she noticed it. Just a way away from where she had been thrown was a ballista. She smiled to herself. _Yes, that would work perfectly!_ She pulled herself up from her crouching position on the ground, and began to run it. If she aimed it at the archdemon, Elissa could weaken it easily in only a few numbers of shots. It was much more potent than any of the weapons they were currently using, and would properly prove to be much more efficient also.

A scream pierced the sky in the direction from where the elves where, and Elissa looked around. Her face went white with shock. More darkspawn had emerged from maker knows where, and they were attempting to ambush them. _Oh no,_ she told herself, _no not now._

"Wynne, Oghren, Shale!" She called at the top of her voice. All three of them turned around to face her, and saw the darkspawn as well. Understanding what Elissa meant, they left the archdemon, and decided to act in defence instead. Elissa turned around again, attempting to run to the ballista whilst the chance was still there. A group of darkspawn ran towards her, but she simple cut her way through them as if they were not worthy of being her opponent. However, as she ran towards her new weapon, more and more darkspawn ran towards her, attempting to cut her down. At one point, a group tried to creep up behind her, and it wasn't until she heard them fall from one of Wynne's spells did she realise how close she had been.

Elissa reached the ballista after what felt like ages, worn out and breathing hard. Only her resolve was allowing her to push herself on past the limit. She prepared the ballista quickly, aiming it directly at the archdemon itself, who was still being attacked by the few elves that remained. Elissa noted that she needed to act fast if any of the small group were able to live, and tried to remember where the pinpoints were for attacking a dragon at its weakness. After all, it was the same concept, just on a much larger scale.

She attacked, very narrowly missing part of the demons legs. Elissa decided to clean up her aim, and fast. The archdemon was not oblivious to her attack, and had cried out once again in anger. Elissa had to hit it well in the next attack if she had any hope of bringing it down now.

Another shot, this time attacking the archdemon more violently. It screamed again, but this time out of pain as well as the anger it previously displayed. _Only a few more shots_ she told herself, preparing to shoot for the third time. Again, she didn't want any chance for the demon to attack, so the next shot came shortly after the first success.

A few shots later and the archdemon was weakened. It let out a cry of pain yet again, only this time more desperate. The group stood back, the remaining darkspawn either running away or being killed in their retreat. The archdemon swayed where it stood, and, after a few moments was unable to stand any longer. It fell to a heap on the ground, unable to take the strain anymore. The archdemon was almost dead; there was just one thing that needed to be done for the nightmare to finally be over.

Elissa walked over to Wynne, Oghren and Shale, in a weakened state herself. Had it been any other situation, she would have given up by now, or passed out onto a heap on the floor due to exhaustion. But not this time. Now, it was different.

She looked up at Wynne, a sad smile on her face.

"And so this is where we part our ways," Elissa said, trying hard to compose her emotions, mostly for that of her friends. Wynne on the other hand, was having a harder time holding on to hers.

"I wish this could end differently for you."

"Well, it _could_, but we both know that isn't, and never was, an option."

She turned to look at Oghren and Shale.

"Well Warden, I guess this is where our final stand ends," Oghren said, a look of sadness on the dwarfs face. "'Gotta admit though, it was a bloody brilliant battle."

Elissa forced a small laugh to escape her lips. "Yes, a brilliant one indeed".

"It – still appears to be stupid to me yet, I must admit, I will miss following it around on its adventures".

"Thank you Shale, all of you." She looked away from the three of them over the archdemon. It was time. "It was a privilege, being able to meet you all. Please, tell the others that too."

She walked forward, her eyes never leaving the demon. Her eyes were full of determination, yet still held the sadness she was trying to fight back within them. This would be where everything would end; her past, her present and her future. But, it was worth it. The life of one to save many, what greater honour was there in death other than knowing you would save so many more lives? If that was the case, why did she still feel sad? Shouldn't she be embracing this now? Hadn't she cried enough?

Remembering her own sword had been broken much earlier on when the archdemon had thrown her into a wall; she pulled a sword out of the clutches of a nearby dead corpse. She held it tightly, and stood still, bracing herself. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. The archdemon was nearly dead already – she could do it. She could kill it in one blow.

"Elissa _no_!"

Elissa froze at the sound of that, opening her eyes suddenly. She dared not turn around to face whose voice that belonged to.

"Shale hold him!" Came Wynne's sudden cry of desperation from behind her. It didn't take Elissa long to realise that Shale had done that only seconds after the mage's cry, as she could hear the persons attempts to break free.

"Damnit Shale, let me _go_! Please, let me go! Elissa don't you _dare_ kill that archdemon; you hear me?! Don't you _dare_!"

Elissa felt a tear fall from her eyes. Fate was much too cruel for them; for _him_.

"Alistair .... I'm sorry," she whispered, more to herself than anyone else. She grabbed hold of the sword tightly again, and ran towards the archdemon at lightning speed.

"No! I said _don't_!" Came Alistair's voice as he continued to attempt to break free of Shales grip.

But it was too late; Elissa had already run towards the demon. She saw it watch her out of the corner of its eye, a look of defeat evident there – as if it had already gave up on living and knew too, exactly what its own fate was now. She jumped on its back, and plunged the sword into the archdemon's skull. The demon let out a cry; and at the same time a bright light erupted from it, capturing Elissa in its path.

She felt pain flow through every part of her body, terrible pain. It was as if her blood were on fire. She wanted to let go of the sword, but some other force wouldn't allow her to. It was as if she we're joined to the sword and she couldn't run away from what was happening to her. Elissa heard Alistair's distressed cry, and she felt her own heart break. She knew that if she could, she properly would be crying now. Oh how hard she'd tried to keep him from witnessing this.

Suddenly, the light exploded, sending her flying. She landed on the ground in a heap, and felt the darkness take over her.

* * *

Alistair got up, worry shaking over him. _It didn't just happen, it didn't just happen!_ He kept telling himself over and over again in his mind. He'd find her, and she'd be fine. It was a joke. Riordian had lied; Grey Wardens could survive the archdemon. Oh maker, how he wanted to believe his heart right now. His heart was telling him there was a chance she would still be alive, whereas his mind was telling him to be logical and accept that everything was over.

He looked around frantically, and found her body heaped on the floor. He felt his breath catch, and he ran to her.

Alistair wanted to cry when he reached her. The woman looked so small, so frail just lying there. He knelt down beside her, and pulled her body close to his. It wasn't fair, maker it wasn't fair. It should have been him that died, not her.

"Elissa, wake up, _please_. Oh maker, this isn't how everything was meant to end." He cradled her closer, as if his own body heat could bring her back. Alistair felt as if his heart had been ripped out from within him. He would have done anything to help save her, _anything_. And yet he didn't. He couldn't, because she'd protected him. Meaning he'd failed in protecting her.

And then he cried; for Elissa, for his lost love, for his lost future happiness, everything. The cheers of the warriors down below dominated the skies, celebrating the death of the archdemon. The sound angered him. Why? Why were they cheering? What was worth celebrating?

"There's nothing to celebrate, _nothing_! If this is the cost of ending the blight, then it wasn't worth it!"

Wynne walked towards the broken man, Oghren and Shale following solemnly behind her. Wynne's eyes looked sharp, as if something had just struck her.

"Alistair," she began.

"Just go away Wynne, I-I want to be alone-"

"Alistair, would you shush for one second-"

"Oh, I'm _sorry_. Is my crying too loud for you? Well guess what, I don't care! You lot – you knew what she was planning, and yet you just let her go ahead with it?! Why the hell would you even do that?! You even kept _me_ in the dark about the whole thing-"

"Alistair would you shush for one moment?!"

Alistair shut up quickly, shocked by Wynne's outburst. She knelt down beside him, and looked at Elissa in a confused manner. She put her hand against Elissa's neck, only adding confusion to Alistair's emotions also.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Alistair-" Wynne stopped him sharply yet again, and turned to face him. He looked back at her, the face of a confused and broken man. Wynne spoke again, worry and urgency evident in her voice. "Alistair, I sense a pulse."

* * *

_Haha yes, I love to leave you cliffhangers. Chapter 6 will be out soon, I wonder what that will hold? :O Your not far from the end now m'dears, not far now. _

_Oh, and yes, my itunes decided to play the most fitting song whilst I was uploading this, so everyone, **go listen to Hoodoo by Muse**. _

_Review if you liked this chapter. It make me feel better about it myself to be truthful.  
_


	6. Chapter 6

_A rather odd, surreal chapter here. Obviously, going straight from what happened after the previous chapter. Hopefully, you guys will like it; oh and yes, a secret is revealed ;)_

_This was difficult to write - actually more difficult than the last chapter, which kind of surprised me. I can't count how many times I scrapped parts of this, out of unhappiness of how everything worked out. Still, here's the final version - for now.  
_

_

* * *

  
_

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

0:6

"_Hello world; hope you're listening.  
Forgive me if I`m young, for speaking out of turn.  
There`s someone I`ve been missing, I think that they could be;  
the better half of me."_

Everything was white, with no beginning or no end in sight.

Elissa was lying on what appeared to be the ground, although, you wouldn't really know with the surrounding. She awoke, blinking. A sense of confusion crossed over her; where was she, and more importantly; why was she there? She tried to remember something, anything of her past – but, nothing could come to mind. Her mind was as blank as the surroundings she was currently in, and Elissa didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

She decided to remain sitting on what appeared to be the closest thing to the ground, pondering her situation. It wasn't that she couldn't recall any events to her mind, just that they were a rush of colour in her mind, blending together to make – well, a mess in all honesty. But maker, Elissa couldn't help but wonder what had happened to her to bring her into such a bizarre place. Also, to add to the question – in the odd situation she was currently facing, why was it that she felt completely calm and – relaxed? Her brow furrowed, and once again, Elissa was put into deep concentration.

"Oh my dear child, why do you have such concentration written on your face?" Came a voice from behind Elissa, one that she knew all too well.

Slowly, she turned around, and came face to face with a person looking down at her, smiling. Elissa stood up slowly, disbelieve flowing through her body – for what reason she did not know. She looked at the persons face, and finally felt words that needed to be spoken.

"M-Mother?"

The woman nodded, and held her arms open to Elissa. Elissa ran into the embrace, and clung tightly. A tear fell from her eyes, and Elissa couldn't understand why she was crying. To her, it was like she hadn't felt her own mother's embrace for the longest time. And then it came to her. She hadn't. She suddenly remembered how Arl Howe had betrayed her family, how she had been left alone with the task of finding her brother and praying he was alive, but having to push aside that duty when becoming a Grey Warden. At that thought, she clung closer to her mother, the tears flowing down her face even more.

"Shush my dear; there is no need to cry."

Elissa's mother pulled her close to her, shushing her as if she were a small child once again, stroking her hair to calm her down also. Elissa pulled away from her, looking up into the face of her mother. A dozen questions we're racing through her mind, and she didn't know which one to settle to ask for first.

"But how? Where's father? What happened? Where are we?"

"I'm here too, pup."

Elissa looked in the direction of where the voice had come from. She saw her father appear from – well no where to be exact, but he was carrying something in his arms with him. Elissa suddenly felt curious, she wanted to hug her father, just as she had just done with her mother, but that was obviously going to prove difficult with whatever it was he was carrying. And – what even could it be? There was nothing in this – space, nothing at all.

"Father!" She stepped forward slightly, wanting nothing more than to run to him. "Father, whats going on here? What are you holding? What is any of this??"

Confusion was only a fraction of what Elissa was thinking about right now. Sure, she got her memories back, or at least up till the when Duncan had saved her planning to recruit her as a Grey Warden, but that was about it. There was still so much she didn't know. She was – happy to find her parents standing in front of her, maker she was ecstatic about that one thing, especially when she was convinced she'd never get the opportunity to talk to them again. But, everything was all too strange to her.

Elissa didn't see the exchange in glances that her parents shared; she was too engulfed in her own thoughts to notice it. But she did hear their hushed conversation, and that only managed to spark more curiosity for her.

"Do you really think we should tell her darling? Goodness knows what it could do to her."

"My love, we both know she will not be here long, for it is not her time yet. She deserves to know. I'm sure that knowing this would make her feel slightly better about the situation, then if she was just left to wonder all her life."

"I suppose your right. I just worry that this may be too soon for her".

"She's going to know sooner or later, she should know now."

"Know what?" Elissa frowned. "Forgive me, I am more than happy –no- I have no words to describe how happy I am to see the both of all, especially after what I had feared, that I would never get to see you again, but I don't like that you are hiding something from me. If there is something I should know, you – you should tell me. I'd prefer that than having more confusion thrust upon me."

The parents exchanged glances once again, and Elissa's father nodded. Elissa looked down in his arms, and noticed that whatever her father was holding, it was wrapped up in a blanket. His hand came over the object, and he went to pull the cloth away, revealing something that made Elissa gasp.

There, bundled up in the blanket, was a small baby. She could tell it was living because its chest was rising and falling. Elissa looked amazed; the babe looked so beautiful and perfect to her. She wanted to reach out and stroke its head, but part of her was telling her not to, as if something would happen. A small nagging feeling played at the back of her mind, as if to tell her that there was more she needed to know, that she only needed to remember it. Elissa reluctantly broke her stare at the child for a moment, to look at her father. She noticed that her father's face was holding a smile, but behind it there was a kind of sadness there.

"We wanted you to see her, at least one time. You deserve it, considering everything..."

Elissa frowned again, looking back at the child. It seemed oddly familiar, as if she had known about it before. Her mind was beginning to burn again as it had done when she tried to remember everything at once. For some reason the babe was able to cast some kind of spell on her, or so it appeared that way as she couldn't take her eyes off of it. And her father had said it was a girl, a beautiful baby girl...

"We'll look after her; we'll take such good care over her. So that one day, whenever you return – although we pray that may not be for the longest time yet – but when you do return, you can hold her yourself, and see what a beautiful girl she'll be."

Another tear slid down Elissa's face at her mother's words. She didn't understand why her mother was talking the way she was. It wasn't as if the child was hers after all. But then it hit her again, as quickly as the first memory had when she was held in her mother's embrace. This time however, all her remaining memories came back. Elissa stepped backwards, and looked at the babe once again, shock flowing through her.

Her mother was talking as if the child was Elissa's, because it _was_ Elissa's.

The child she could never have in her lifetime, because she had to make a choice.

The child that – had everything had happened in a perfect fairytale setting, would have become a miracle to her.

The child that the world would never know even existed, because it never had a chance to live.

"M-My daughter..." She whispered between the tears that were falling down her cheeks.

"Yes my dear, she is yours. And she always will be, even if you can't be there for her."

Elissa frowned, not understanding what her mother had said there.

"What?! Wait – why can't I be there for her?? I'm her mother, surely that means I should be there for her??"

Elissa's mother just shook her head in sadness.

"No, my dear child. Of course, you _should_ be there for her – but I'm afraid that's not possible. You see, she isn't meant to live in your world. She died, the moment you defeated the archdemon. You on the other hand, you have a whole other chance at life. You need to live it, make the most of it, it's what you deserve."

Elissa shook her head, tears streaming down her face.

"That's not fair! I want to be there for her, to hold her, to look after her. It's hardly fair I get to live when my own daughter dies!"

"Do not act so selfish Elissa. You have been given another chance, take it. We know you will never forget her, but at least remember that we will look after her here."

"But – I want to be a mother to her."

"Elissa your mother is right. We know how badly you yearn to be with your child, but I'm afraid it's just not meant to be. She will always be with you though, in your heart, along with the rest of us. That much, we can promise."

Elissa sniffed, tears falling rapidly down her face. She knew that she would die as soon as she destroyed the archdemon, but she had hoped that there would have been some way to save her child. A mute hope perhaps, as it would require much more than a miracle to happen, but Elissa had hoped it would happen. A voice came from behind her, yet another one she recognised all too well.

"Elissa, you have much more left to do. Do not forget the promise you made to someone else."

Elissa turned around, her face struck with tears. In front of her stood the very man who had recruited her into the Grey Warden's, the very person who had inevitably taken her down a path on which her life would change forever. The Grey Warden smiled slightly, sadly, just like her parents had just before.

"There is – an idiot waiting for you to return to him. Elissa, you are not the only one suffering right now. Think of Alistair, he misses you, and needs you. More than you can imagine."

Elissa's eyes went wide then. _Of course,_ she thought. How stupid could she have been? Alistair was suffering more than she was. He properly knew by now about their lost daughter, and was grieving for her, alone. Not to mention about how he was already distraught at what would have happened to his betrothed aswell. Elissa had left him in the dark about so many things, hoping to protect him; yet right now she was the one who was hurting him the most. Because she wasn't able to support him in the way that she should have. In a way, Elissa couldn't help but feel that she had failed him, in so many ways.

"Elissa, Alistair seems to be a lovely man. I'm very glad you've found happiness with him; which is why you have to return."

Elissa turned to her parents, and then back at Duncan. They were right, as much as she wanted to be with her child, she couldn't ignore the desire to see Alistair again. To just be with him without worry, to stay with him till the end of their days together. She owed him a lot, and – although she never admitted it, Elissa needed Alistair just as much as he did her.

"You know, I still cannot believe it. The first time you two met at camp, I had a feeling you would be good friends with one another. However, I couldn't have foreseen the two of you having such a powerful bond, that you two would actually find love. It makes me glad to know that with you, Alistair will always been taken care of."

Elissa looked back at Duncan, and smiled. Of course he would want happiness for Alistair, for the both of them. The man was a father figure for Alistair, something he had lacked all his life before he was recruited. Both Duncan and Elissa knew that Alistair was the type of man to not fall in love easily, but once he eventually did - he would love eternally. And Elissa had always felt priviledged to know that, to be the one who had recieved that love.

"Return to him, pup. You have our blessings, and we pray you live happily together, and provide a great many more grandchildren for us."

Elissa laughed slightly at that. It was unusual to hear such a thing from her father, especially when it was her mother who had been the one to try and encourage her to settle down. Her father on the otherhand, would be the one to not want his only daughter to settle down and grow up into a woman, but to remain his 'little girl' forever. For her father to acknowledge and accept Alistair – that was something to celebrate in itself.

"We are so proud of you love, now go have a fairy tale ending with your Prince."

Elissa felt fresh tears spring in her eyes, a mixture of happiness and sadness at the same time. She looked at all three of the people again and then back at her daughter cradled in her father's arms. Elissa wanted to make sure to imprint the image of her daughter onto her mind, so that she may never forget what she looked like; a serene angel.

"You'll look after her? Just as you promised?" Came her whispered reply after a short period of silence.

Elissa's mother only laughed, and nodded.

"Of course we will darling; we would have no greater honour."

Elissa halted for a second, and then nodded, as if content with her final decision.

"Then I trust her unto you. I will miss you two, so much." She turned to Duncan. "And Alistair misses you too, Duncan. Is there any message you would like me to relay back to him?"

The girl smiled to herself. As if Alistair would believe any of this even if she did tell him. Well, he _might_ – considering it had come from herself and not Leliana, but that wasn't the point. Duncan however merely laughed at her question.

"Just tell him to stop blaming himself for what happened at Ostagar; that should be enough."

Elissa nodded again, and turned back to her parents. She waved, but knew that she was not saying goodbye. She would see them all again, someday when her time was truly up in the world.

And at that, the pure, white world around her, faded to black.

* * *

_And, that's where chapter 6 ends. (What a nightmare that was to write ...)_

_Next chapter, we'll see another reunion, one I'm sure you readers will love :) The story is so very near to wrapping up to a close D: (well, this was only meant to be a 4 chapter fic, and we're already on chapter 6...)_

_Review if you liked this chapter, and stay tuned for chapter 7.  
_


	7. Chapter 7

_Sorry this update is a bit later than the others. I had hoped to have it up yesterday or the day before, but I got busy/lazy. And then my brain wanted to work better for my other fic than this one and - well late update._

_Anyway, here's chapter 7. I think you know what to expect in this chapter :)_

_Hope you enjoy, even if it was - yet again - another pain of a chapter to write._

_

* * *

  
_

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

0:7

_"Baby you know that  
maybe it's time for miracles;  
because I'm not giving up on love"_

_-  
_

The room was quite, apart from the sound of the fireplace crackling.

It had been a week since the archdemon had been defeated, a nightmarish week for Alistair, who had eaten and slept very little. He barley left the room of where his beloved lay, still resting after everything she'd been through.

Wynne had worked on healing Elissa for what felt like forever to the group, using a mixture of spells and bandages to fix her wounds. Alistair had been told by the mage that it was lucky she was even alive in the state she was in, but he didn't believe it. He _wouldn't_ believe it until Elissa opened her eyes herself and awoke. For some reason, he couldn't help but feel he'd failed her in some way, and that it should have been him to take the final blow on the archdemon, not her. Not at the cost that they both had to pay.

There was another thing he found he had been kept in the dark about, one that annoyed him more than the whole plan of the archdemon attack. A little while after Wynne had started healing; he'd been pushed out the room, being told that he'd only get in the way of what was happening. Alistair knew that something wasn't right, and he was being pushed away so that Wynne could concentrate. But never would he have expected the mage to walk out of the room informing him of Elissa having a miscarriage. The shock had hit him as ice, both at the fact that Elissa was even pregnant to begin with, and that that their child had died. He felt like crying again in that instance, but then was told by Wynne that – if it wasn't for the child, Elissa wouldn't be alive now. Confused, the young templar had sat and listened to Wynne's story, learning of how it had been the child itself that had saved Elissa from the archdemon.

"_The child was already battling with the taint that her mother was carrying; it was a miracle that she had even survived this long. When the archdemon's soul came into the equation however, the babe had no chance of survival. The archdemon's soul must have – sensed the child's own developing soul and decided to reside in that instead, only for the both of them to be destroyed by one another and – thus leaving Elissa's intact somewhat."_

"_So will she live? Now that the- the child has been removed from her? Now she's been healed?"_

_Alistair was desperate for answers, wanting to both mourn the loss of his daughter and to pray for the wellbeing of the woman he loved. His voice came out small, and hurt, almost as if he was ready to give up if the answer he received was the wrong one. The mage however, just sighed in exhaustion, and shook her head._

"_I don't know Alistair, I honestly don't know. She is still alive now, and I have done all I can to help her live but – the rest is up to her. She is very weak my child, not just her body, but her spirit too. For her to heal properly, she'll need to rest."_

_Alistair only nodded, not looking at Wynne's gaze. He knew what the mage was implying. Elissa was strong – but now her strength was to be tested more than ever. He sniffed, feeling tears slide down his face. Silently, he prayed to the maker- for both Elissa and their daughter. _

Exhausted, Alistair laid his head on the side of the bed that Elissa was residing in. The only sign that she was still with him was the slow rise and fall of her chest. Seeing her like this made her seem peaceful, but it didn't stop his heart from aching. Alistair needed her, and it was hurting him seeing her so weak and vulnerable. He didn't want to sleep, because he didn't want to wake up to find she wasn't there. Yet at the same time, he knew he needed to sleep – no matter how hard he fought it.

He watched her face, still perfect as it ever was – only a bit paler than usual. Hero of Ferelden or not, she was still human, and even as she lay in her bed, it was evident she had over exhausted herself in their last battle. Alistair's eyes became heavy, and before he knew it, he had given into sleep.

* * *

Her eyes opened, and then closed almost instantly afterwards. She needed to adjust to where she was, and wherever it was, she was lying on some very comfortable cushions.

Elissa stayed where she was for a while, not even attempting to open her eyes again just yet. She could feel a slight numbing of pain in her body, but it was nothing compared to what she had felt before. It was then that she realised: she was alive.

She tried to open her eyes again, and this time – they remained open, although still heavy with the sleep that she had just awoken from. She shuffled in her bed slightly to sit up, not moving too much so as to not risking opening any of her wounds that had been bandaged. It was then when her hand brushed against another lightly, and Elissa turned to her side. There, she saw Alistair – leaning his head on the edge of the bed, asleep himself. By the looks of him he hadn't moved much since he'd arrived, whenever that was.

Alistair stirred slightly in his sleep, his brow furrowed as he began to wake. Elissa moved her hand back, and found she couldn't stop staring at him, the fire behind him outlining his features. She watched him yawn slightly, then open his eyes to look at her –

And she saw the surprise and happiness begin to shine in them.

For a moment the two only stared at one another, as if it was the first time they had met in a while. Well, Elissa guessed it could have been – she had no concept of how much time had passed during her sleep.

Alistair reached up to touch her cheek with his hand, as if to reassure himself she were real, and that he wasn't still dreaming. When coming to the conclusion that she was real, he smiled slightly.

"You're awake," He finally spoke, quietly as if speaking out loud would ruin the dreamlike moment.

Elissa smiled back at him slightly, as happy to see his face as he was to see hers.

"How long was I asleep for?"

"About a week," Alistair replied, and then frowned slightly. "We we're really worried you know? At one point, we thought we'd lost you – _I_, thought I'd lost you." He paused, and looked away from her. He sniffed, and a tear fell down his face. "I missed you."

He then looked down at the blanket beneath him, trying to avert his gaze away from her in any way. Elissa however, moved slightly, and brought her hand to wipe away his tears.

"I'm sorry I worried you," She whispered, bringing the man into her lap so she could embrace him somewhat. Alistair held her gently, not wanting to open up any of her many wounds.

"You better be. Do me a favour and don't _ever_ leave me in the dark about your suicidal plans again."

Elissa couldn't help but chuckle slightly at that. She knew she shouldn't but – Alistair had sounded like such a stubborn child then. She held him tighter and ran her hands through his hair, thankful to be with him once again.

They remained like that for a while, until Elissa asked the question that had been burning in her mind ever since she'd awoken.

"Alistair," she began, and paused. Alistair moved from her lap to meet her eyes again, not letting go of his hold on her. "Not to sound ungrateful but – how am I still alive?"

She watched Alistair's reactions, and noticed his face began to show pain. She knew she shouldn't have asked him, that he properly wouldn't want to think about what had happened. Quickly, Elissa tried to take the question back.

"I'm sorry – you don't have to answer if you don't want to-"

"No. You deserve to know. And – I suppose I'm the best person to tell you. Although I'm sure if you asked Wynne she'd answer for you as well." He looked away into the fire, obviously trying to hide his pain. Elissa reached out to try and reach his arm, to comfort him.

"Your soul – was protected." He began, still looking into the fire. Elissa frowned slightly. Protected? How? As far as she knew, she didn't have a guardian angel around her all the time. Well, she did have Alistair who acted as her protector a lot of the time, but she was sure that's not what he meant.

"Protected? How?"

"By your- _our; _child." He said.

Elissa felt her stomach fall. So it was true. She'd lost her child to the archdemon. Her own daughter. What small hope she had that there may have been a possibility that their child had lived had been extinguished by the reality of the truth.

Without noticing it, Elissa had retracted the hand she had used to reach out and comfort Alistair, and it was now floating just above her blankets. Alistair put his hands over hers, this time trying to reassure her.

"I – don't know how much you knew about it but –"

"No. I knew enough. I knew I was pregnant, and – I had expected as much. I just-" This time it was her turn to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I just hoped that a miracle could have happened."

They sat like that for a while, both sitting in the silence of sadness. Alistair was trying his hardest to support Elissa, having had his opportunity to mourn earlier. Elissa however, was trying to hold back her tears, but failing. They rolled down her cheeks as she considered what the both of them had lost.

After what felt like a lifetime, Alistair answered her again, carefully choosing his words.

"In a way... a miracle _did_ happen. Elissa, Grey Wardens aren't known to have children. It's rare enough for one to have one but – for two? It's – _never_ been known. Until now. For us to have a child in the first place, that in its own is a miracle. I know we'll never replace this child we've lost but – we can always try again, knowing now that it's not _completely_ impossible for us to conceive one."

Elissa thought about what Alistair had said. Of course, she had heard about the odds of a Grey Warden having children before, but Alistair was right. Once again, they'd gone against them. There was nothing to say that they couldn't do it again. It might be hard, and the odds may not be in their favour – but at least they could never be blamed for trying. Considering that, she nodded.

"Your right. We've gone against the odds so many times before."

"I think your living prove of that, my dear." Alistair said, forcing a smile.

He pulled her in for another embrace, and Elissa felt content, giving the circumstances. The blight was over, and there was nothing left to threaten them. Although she'd miss camping beneath the starlight, she didn't mind. As long as Alistair was there with her, she didn't care nor mind where she was in the world. She knew he would never let anything bad happen to her in the future, and she would be damned if she let anything happen to him. Even in her darkest hours, light would shine as long as he was beside her; and she knew he felt the same way.

"Err, Alistair."

"What is it?"

"Well, I didn't want to say it before but – I really am _starving.._."

Alistair merely chuckled, and pulled her out of the embrace again.

"I'll go get some stew. Wynne will kill me anyway if I don't inform her that you're awake. Actually – they all properly will to be honest."

He got up, and walked to the door. Before walking out, he stopped and turned around to face where she was in her bed.

"_You,_ don't move. Wynne won't be happy if you screw up the job she made of healing you."

Elissa laughed from where she was.

"As if I could move if I even wanted to. I promise, I'll be good and stay in bed."

Alistair smiled warmly again, and walked turned to walk out the room. Seeing that smile, Elissa knew that she was lucky to have him by her side.

* * *

_D'aww, and you finally have our Alistair & Elissa together again :')_

_Next chapter should be ... the last chapter D: (I'd like to consider telling their story after this story perhaps but ... that could be in the future yes?)._

_You know the drill, review if you liked. It makes me happy to read them ~  
_


	8. Chapter 8

_And so, here it is. The final stage of this story_. _Time to find out what happens next to Alistair and Elissa_.

_I hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

* * *

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

0:8

"_Do you remember when?  
Oh we didn't even have to try.  
We used to drift into each other  
and let the machine wave us goodbye."_

_-_

"Alicia, I know we've been over this a thousand times; but are you really sure that this dress isn't too – well, _dressy_?"

Elissa heard the giggles from her young handmaiden Alicia behind her as she was finishing off the finishing touches to her dress. Elissa wanted to pout, remembering how much she despised dressing up in showy dresses. It always managed to draw too much attention to her.

"No Milady, it's meant to be like that. After all, what else would you expect from a dress prepared for your wedding?"

There it was again. That word that she kept hearing constantly lately. _Wedding_. What should be, or is known as, every girls dream – was beginning to grow into Elissa's idea of a nightmare. Of course, she wanted to marry Alistair, but she didn't like how everything had to be ... overdone, in her mindset.

Elissa heard Leliana giggle as she sighed herself, and saw her move from where she was sitting out of the corner of her eye.

"Elissa, there's no use whining about it. You look beautiful; and if you behave I'll do your hair for you afterwards."

"If you insist." Elissa replied back, rolling her eyes whilst a faint smile played on her lips. Both she and Leliana knew of course, that she enjoyed Leliana styling her hair. It was about as 'girly' as she would ever get. Elissa knew and expected her hair to be fixed by none other than one of her closest friends, and the idea made her somewhat happier. It did nothing for calming her nerves however.

Of course, Elissa knew that this wedding had to be somewhat extravagant in some way. After all, the 'hero of Ferleden' was to marry the King of Ferleden and become Queen herself in the process. There was no better time for celebration. However, Elissa couldn't help thinking about her dream of having a small wedding instead, with only close friends to accompany them. It properly would have been easier for Alistair as well, who, although was beginning to grow more in his confidence in leading over time, was still a bundle of nerves over his new duty. Still, the idea would have to remain a dream, as it seemed impossible for such a thing to happen, especially with Ferleden waiting in awe for the royal couple to finally wed.

She shuffled on her feet slightly. Maker, she may be good on the battlefield, and she may understand the way in which monarchy and ruling a country worked, but Elissa always had trouble with public events, _especially_ when she was to be part of the main event.

"There you are milady, the dress is finished."

Elissa shook her head, bringing herself out of her daze. She turned around, looking for where the mirror was in the room. Noticing it standing to the side, she looked at herself, and suddenly the colour in her cheeks fell. There was no way the girl staring back at her was, well, _her_. She turned and looked over her shoulder, admiring the back of the dress. The woman in the mirror looked beautiful, and full of nobility. Was this what she now had to change into?

Leliana walked over to her and put her hands on Elissa's shoulders, watching her over her shoulder through the mirror. A huge smile was spread across her face, like that of a mischievous cat. Well, at least someone was having fun playing dress-up.

"Aww Elissa! You look – _beautiful_! You know, I honestly do not understand why you don't wear dresses more often, because they look wonderful on you."

Elissa stood awkwardly in front of the mirror, playing with her hands, the nervousness in her stomach doing double take at her friends comment. Ah yes, the undesired attention that came with wearing such a gown – that was _exactly_ why she _didn't _wear dresses that much.

"Erm ... thank you?"

"Alistair's going to do a double take when you walk out there looking like the princess you are."

"Your handmaidens right Elissa. He's going to be so shocked – in a good way. Now come sit on the bed so I can style your hair."

Leliana took her arm and pulled her over the bed, flopping on it herself with her hairbrush and various accessories laid out in preparation already. Elissa sat down in front of her, turning her back so her friend could comb through her long hair. She watched as Alicia picked up the scattered clothes from the bedroom floor, humming a tune as she did so.

"Elissa, why are you sitting so tense? Relax a little; otherwise you're going to moan that I'm pulling your hair when I start styling it any minute now."

Elissa sighed, not noticing she was sitting so rigid. She relaxed slightly, but her nerves didn't waver one bit.

"I'm sorry Leliana, I'm just – really, really nervous."

"Well, I think we've noticed that by the way you've been fidgeting for the past hour. Elissa, you really have to relax. You're getting married, of course that is a terrifying experience in its own, but it's also a joyful one. And what's more, it's _Alistair_. You two are so perfect for each other, and if you have my opinion, I suspect that he's busy drilling a hole into the ground with his own nervous pacing."

Elissa giggled slightly at that, knowing all too well that Leliana spoke truth, and that Alistair was properly much more nervous than she was right now.

"Your right, at least I'm not at risk from falling through the ceiling by pacing too much," both of the girls shared a giggle then, laughing at the image in their minds at the moment. Leliana put the brush down, and began to decide what she should do about her friend's hair in terms of styling it.

"You know Leliana; all this, at one time – I was beginning to believe I wouldn't get to experience it. Marriage, I mean. I'm, really glad I got this chance, even if I can't control my nerves right now."

Leliana took a hairclip out of her mouth, and placed it in Elissa hair. She smiled, understanding what Elissa was trying to explain.

"It – truly is a miracle. But, I think – it's good. After everything that's happened, the two of you are still together, standing by each other, stronger than ever. I think you've proven that you can overcome anything."

"And yet, here _I_ am getting nervous over my own wedding." Elissa chuckled to herself once again.

They sat in silence for a while longer, Leliana playing around and styling Elissa's hair in various ways and styles. Elissa on the other hand, began thinking of everything – and not just her and Alistair - but what all of them had gone through as a group. After this, everyone would be going their separate ways – save for Morrigan who had left long beforehand. She had no doubt in her mind that they'd meet again sometime in the future, but Elissa still felt a small pang of sadness in her heart. They had all grown so close after all, like a family, and now that family was going to be broken up, their mission having been accomplished. In a way, today was the last celebration they'd all have together.

Leliana finished with Elissa's hair, and picked up the remaining accessories that were lying on the bed, placing them back where they belonged. She grabbed a small mirror, and showed Elissa what her hair looked like. Of course, it was perfect – and she looked less like the warrior she was then she had ever done in her life. Elissa smiled at her reflection, happy with the style her friend had chosen. Leliana on the other hand, only let out yet another laugh, watching her friend's expression of awe.

"You know, for someone who's so set against dressing up for any event, even her own special day, you seem happy with the final product."

Elissa felt herself blush slightly, Leliana only laughing more at her friend's slight embarrassment. Of course, Elissa would never admit it, but she didn't mind what her reflection was showing of her, even if it was different from whom she really was, what her identity was known for. She smiled again, this time filled with more strength, and looked up at her friend.

"Well, we have to make the best out of our situations, do we not?" She said, noticing that she was ready to break into laughter with her friend too.

It was then that they heard a small scream from outside the room, the scream that had come from Alicia. Elissa, suddenly worried about what had happened, began to walk quickly towards the door, only to be met seconds later by a certain _friend_ entering her room. She looked down at her pet hound, and out at Alicia getting up of the ground to pick up what clothes she had dropped. Elissa laughed slightly, and turned to her hound.

"Honestly you, that wasn't very nice was it? You didn't need to knock poor Alicia over now did you?"

"Oh no milady it's fine! I didn't notice him running and – I think I walked into him more than he ran into me..." Alicia replied, giggling slightly at the hound.

The hound, sensing that he really wasn't in that much trouble with his master, let out a loud bark filled with happiness, and wagged his tail. Elissa just rolled her eyes, smiling at how mischievous he could be. Leliana on the other hand, was laughing at what had just happened. No matter where they were; in Highever, at camp, or even in a palace – Elissa noted that her pet knew someway on how to get himself caught up in some sort of mischief.

Once the giggling had subsided, Leliana was the first to talk.

"Elissa, I think your hound came to inform you that it's time for you to get married."

Elissa turned white again, her nerves returning to her in full throttle again. Unable to say anything, she merely nodded, and allowed Leliana to lead her out of her room. Leliana remained calm, the smile never leaving her face.

* * *

Alistair had never been so terrified in his whole life. And here he thought, being announced King at the landsmeet was bad enough, no one had warned him about the nerves he was facing now. He couldn't understand why he was feeling so nervous; after all it had been _him_ that had proposed to _her_, and he loved Elissa more than anything. Yet, there was still something within him that made him want to run away and hide.

Perhaps, it had something to do with how public and huge the wedding was.

Or perhaps, he was just scared because it _was_ Elissa he was marrying.

He'd already known in his heart of hearts that he loved her with all his being, but at the same time, Alistair still wondered why she loved him so much in return. To himself, he appeared to be nothing special – and, noting how lucky he was to have such a woman by his side, he often wondered why Elissa still remained and managed to put up with him. He'd never question her choice, and being with her made him happier than he ever felt he could possibly be in his life.

Perhaps the fear within him, was fear that today she decided that in fact, she didn't want to spend her life with him. If such a thing happened, it would crush him completely, but he would understand. To him, she was worth more than the world itself, and he'd do anything to make her happy – even at the expense of his own happiness. Maker, he wanted the waiting to be over so that everything could go back to normal, and not remain in this awkward, nervous way of thinking.

He hadn't noticed he was fidgeting, until he heard Zevran clear his throat. Alistair turned to the elf, and noticed him nod in the direction of where the entrance was.

"Don't look now, _your majesty_, but I think your Queen just appeared."

Following the assassins gaze, Alistair turned, and his eyes opened wide in shock. He saw her, well, he thought it was her. No, it _had_ to be her – there was no one as stunning as her in the world. But, she looked, so different. Alistair's nerves vanished completely within that one moment, instead he stood there completely star stuck, smiling like the complete idiot he was.

Elissa stood before him before he even knew it, and Alistair noticed her cheeks were blushed red. She smiled, and he noticed that she was nervous as well. It was perhaps even possible that she were more nervous and embarrassed with herself than he had been with himself only moments before. He took her hand into his, staring straight back into her eyes. He bent down to whisper to her quickly, before they walked up the few remaining steps.

"Maker, but your _beautiful_."

He saw Elissa's blush deepen, but felt that her nervousness had soon fallen once he'd said that. It was in that moment that it was clear to him. Everything was perfect; they would be together forever, through the good times and the bad. But he had a feeling, that their futures together would be filled with many more of the good experiences waiting only for them.

* * *

_Le Fin ~_

_And yes, they got a happy ending in the end :) It makes me sad that this is the last chapter in this mini-story, but either way, I really hope you enjoyed reading this. To all those along the way that took the time to review, add this story to your favorites & alerts, I thank you. So much. Your comments were such a pleasure to read, and I really enjoyed reading them all. It made me very happy. Again, thank you for them. _

_Review if you liked this chapter / this story. And perhaps we may meet these two in the future again for their adventures. Who knows what's in the future ;)  
_


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